I think John's latest post is his best yet – and i'm chuffed that he might think i've got some of that punk attitude. Coming from John, whose sense of inclusivity i've always admired, I take it as a big complement. So i've been thinking hard about inclusivity. I'm going to get a bit philosophical… Continue reading Inclusivity (Elle)
I write this post with the notion of encouraging others to be open about their mental health. I decided to write a show about mental health after appearing on a platform last year where several comedians spoke about the issue. At the end of the night I was approached by a young man who was… Continue reading Positive Feedback (John)
Basically I'm for anything that gets you through the night – be it prayer, tranquillizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels. (Frank Sinatra) I feel like my brain is full of crushed salt and vinegar crisps and red hot needles. I say this with some sort of satisfaction because I believe it's a better description… Continue reading Bipolar Mixed Episodes (Elle)
When I first met Elle I was struck by her ability to analyse some of the ways I go about explaining/coping with things. She spotted something that one of my favourite psychiatrists noticed when I was under her care. I use diminishing language to cope with major events, especially events relating to my own mental… Continue reading Hurdles. (John)
I've tried a few times in this blog to really describe what it feels like to be in my head/body. I thought that was my purpose in writing here, so that other people could experience and understand it. But I have a growing disquieting feeling now that it's actually impossible to let another human being share… Continue reading A Rucksack Full of Stones (Elle)
(contains a small amount of difficult material) John has described some examples of treatment that was poor - that failed to help. It put me in mind to write about trust between psychiatrist and patient - how it comes into being and how it doesn't. And it struck me that you can only best do… Continue reading Trust and Two Psychiatrists. Elle
Both John and I experienced misdiagnosis before we were finally diagnosed with Bipolar 1. This I believe is a pretty common experience. The figure often quoted is that it takes on average 10 years from the onset of symptoms to the point where the diagnosis is made. There are a number of reasons for this… Continue reading Getting the ‘Label.’ Elle
John talked in his last post about the beginnings of psychosis for him, and the trauma that predated it. It has me thinking about the first time I became manic and psychotic. It also has me thinking about the similarities between psychosis and the dream state. But I need to go back a bit. My… Continue reading Onset of Psychosis (i) Elle
I had a dream last night. I was in a large restaurant, and Pavarotti was sitting at my table. A waiter came over and asked if Pavarotti would sing for the restaurant, and if I would play the piano. This involved me sitting on a long bench that stretched the length of the piano keyboard,… Continue reading I Had a Dream. Elle.
It expresses perfectly for me why I find ‘things’ so difficult – because I’m continually having to react to right myself, responding to internal change the whole time to keep myself upright and stable, dealing with placing my feet on a constantly shifting surface, and coping with the sickening feeling that the small challenge up… Continue reading Not Indestructible. John.